This morning I woke up grumpy...
I'm tired.
I have to get Zuri to preschool.
I have to get dressed....ugh.
I still have more to pack at my freaking house.
I leave Remi with my mom, drop Zuri off, and get to my box filled home.
Its actually a shell of a home now, and it makes me feel so lonely.
My fingers sting...
My back aches....
There's still so much to do, and my eyes are burning....I want to bawl.
Then I turn on the TV.
Horror is panning across the screen before me, then I actually do start to cry.
It stops me dead in my tracks as I watch these crying kids leave their school, a place they used to feel safe at, looking for their family....
The stuff those innocent children had to see today will stay with them forever....forever changing who they are.
It's not fair.
And thinking of the families that don't get to pick up their child or loved one today....
It's more than heartbreaking.
I will never understand it.
I'm shattered by this...my mom-heart can't take news like this.
It consumes me and I can't stop thinking about what if those were
my children.
I want to hold them
I want to home school them
I'm so happy my biggest problem is packing....
Things get put into perspective pretty easily, don't they?
My sincerest condolences and prayers are with the those children and families in Connecticut today.
I think that is exactly all of our mornings, especially those of us with young children in school at the very same moment. I was complaining of a poor nights sleep because both kids were in our bed, and now I can only be thankful for their little warm bodies.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop thinking of all the holiday presents, already purchased by loving parents, that will never be opened. The parents have to face those gifts when they get home, knowing that Christmases and holidays will forever be heart wrenching.
Can't. stop. crying. A big hug to you and your family and all the families grieving today's horror.
Definitely puts things in to perspective. So heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteI know! My perspective has completely changed after reading about the shooting today. Instead of complaining that having four kids is hard, I am going to squeeze them tight. It's taking all my will power not to go get my son from school early today. So, so sad.
ReplyDeleteAfter I saw it on the news I wept as well. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?? My problems seemed like a tiny grain of sand compared. Goodness. I can't even imagine what those families (and friends) of the victims must be feeling.
ReplyDeleteI remember being this age. I was there, I can literally feel and see the emotion and chaos. My sister was shot at the Columbine shooting years ago. She was saved by the grace Of God. I was in 1st grade at the time and I always imagined "what if it was me." I couldn't help but know how defenseless and helpless I would be. And now, here it is. My past relived. I feel the pain of the parents, families, friends, and students. It is just so hard to comprehend that this would happen to such innocent, young children. But I know God is sovereign and His glory will prevail all evil. My heart goes out to Connecticut and to all the parents out in the world that are terrified to send their kids back to school. What a sad day, indeed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Weslie. I know it must be hard for you as a mom.
ReplyDeleteI was living in Highlands Ranch, Colorado during Columbine, too. I was in 5th grade and even though I didn't know anyone personally involved, I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. All the teachers were so quiet...we couldn't go to recess, or leave until our parents got us and no one told us why. Finding out what happened later that evening was sickening. I'm so sorry you and your family had to experience what really happened first hand. That's awful! Give your sister a hug for me, this week must be hard on her especially.
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