breast feeding....

Lets just talk about it.

I was that girl gawking at the breastfeeding lady sitting in the middle of the mall prior to kids.

Now, I am that breast feeding lady sitting in the middle of the mall. Weird.

True, I said I would never do that. Don't those people know there's a room designated for that specific purpose? Do I need to tell them directions? Nordstroms bathroom, lady! Nordstroms bathroom!

But what I never took into account before was their screaming, hungry baby, loads of crap to transport, other kids they'd have to drag along, and walking distance to that designated mothers room.

So...Now I have absolutely no problem when I see a lady sit down, pull out the "hooter hider", and nurse their baby in public. In fact, sometimes I feel like going up to them and giving them a hi-five....like "You go, mom! Breastfeed away!"

And since when was it ok to make nursing mothers feel like they have to do it private anyways? Just cause you choose to breastfeed, you therefore have to spend the majority of your days for the next year in dark corners, or behind closed doors alone? I think not.

And, no, I do not condone whipping out your naked boob and flashing every stranger or not stranger you see to feed your kid. Im not saying that....

But seriously, get over it people!

Anyways, want an uplifting quote for the day? Here ya go:

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.”
— Goi Nasu

A day in the life.

I've decided today is blog worthy. And I'll just start in chronological order from last night...

So last night after spending the evening at the in laws we get home to a bunch of un opened mail. Well, bills. Always fun to come home to that, right? So, we open our outrageous electric bill, and I decide to take a vow to turn of the heat and suffer through the night for the rest of the winter before I get another bill like this one. Soooo, I dress extra warm.... Dress the kids extra warm. Put 2 more blankets on Zuri, then head to bed around 10.

At about 5 I get a tap on my shoulder. It's zu.
"mom. I forgot to go pee pee last night and I think my bed is all wet. I think it maybe pee. But I don't know."
Me (eyes not even willing to open): "k. Get nakey and hop in our bed."

I hear her getting undressed and whimpering about being cold... I hand her a wet wipe to do once-over on her whole body, and then it hits me. The frigid cold air. I swear you could see our breathe.

I give in and turn on the heat. Not before noticing all the sheets, stuffed animals, and 3 blankets doused is pee pee all over Zuri's bed. Wonderful.

She hurries in bed and immediately spoons me suction cup style, so I'm cemented in between Remi on my right and Zuri to the left. Its 7 now and I can't fall back to sleep. I'm supposed to get up to go running with Kylie (my sexy sissy in law) for the first time, but I'm just too cold and I can't move because if I do one of the two girls will wake up. Running is not gonna happen today.

So, there I sit. Trapped. Until 9 when we have to take husband to work. Normally when we take him I come right back home but with the cupboards getting pretty sparse I decide to do some grocery shopping before we got home. We get the kids semi dressed and make a mad dash to the car. When we're all finally strapped in and on our way. I realized i was wearing fuzzy blue slippers instead of shoes. Epic fail walking around wal-mart in a workout outfit and slippers. Oxymoron much?

Anyways, while in wal-Mart my main objective (besides buying groceries) is to keep chips, and cookies, and food with Dora the explorer on the outside of the box away from Zuris view. Somehow zuzu spy's a bag of Cheetos and goes nuts over them. Full force begging/whining begins and I will NOT give in. Tears begin to flow when, luckily, the bag shes looking at are "flaming hot" Cheetos. Phew. Problem solved.... Or so I thought until we get to the checkout and I hear...

"moooom! Look!!!!! I see the Cheetos with no fire! No fire Cheetos! No fire Cheetos!!!! I neeeeeed them!" I say no and world war 3 breaks out.

Both kids are now sobbing and screaming. Zuris practically throwing punches about the cheetos and I can't help but start laughing so hard in the checkout line that tears are coming down my face. The lady behind me thinks I'm crying so she starts consoling me...I'm trying to tell her I'm laughing and she looks at me so confused that it makes me laugh even harder.

Fast forward and were back in our freezer of a house. I have great intentions to clean the house and blah blah blah alllll after I nurse the baby and get her to take a nap. I lay her down and am feeding her when I this movie Jersey Girl starts on tv.... An hour later I realize I'm sobbing in my bed over this movie and have un consciously eaten 9 days worth of calories in chips and dip. Ugh. It's time to get up.

I run a bath for the baby and it feels so warm and good I decide to hop in with her. Not a millisecond after i get in Remi decided to unload the biggest baby newborn poop EVER. I mean ever. I jump out, drain the tub, bleach the tub, then fill it back up and get back in. Not but 2 minutes later round two of biggest baby poop ever in the bath happens again.

No way.

Drain the tub, clean the tub, fill the tub, get back in for the second time.

Remi has pretty bad eczema that we're supposed to clean thoroughly daily and it's mostly found in creases... If you've never seen Remi then you wouldnt know she is the chunkiest, chubbiest, most Michelin-man baby out. You can imagine the rolls, right?

So Im cleaning through all the little baby rolls one by one... Her front is done so flip her over and do behind her knees.... All of a sudden I realize Im dunking her face in the water! Ah! Panic sets in. I, of course, immediately flip her over and she seems fine, she coughed once or twice and was really mad... But she seems fine. I'm so freaked out at that point and feeling like the mother of the year because I just about drowned my child when I remember an Oprah episode i saw years ago... Something about a boy drowning after he went swimming just from inhaling a little water.....bah!

Im freaking out, rush out of the bath and google "boy on Oprah that drowned not in water". Haha.

I found out its called "dry drowning" and happens usually after a near drowning experience when there is trauma to the lungs/brain.... so I research dry drowning until I'm convinced Remi has no symptoms.

Phewwww. It's now only 2 and I feel like its been a whirl wind of a day already. We'll see what the next 7 hous have in store for the Christensen fam!

Introducing Miss Remi Estella Christensen

Our darling girl was born two days after my birthday on September 28th at 11:08pm weighing in at 6 pounds 3 ounces and was 18 1/2 inches long.

I couldn't imagine what another baby girl would be like for us... I would picture a carbon copy of baby Zuri. So, when we finally got meet Remi I was pleasantly surprised to find out the two were nothing alike. Remi came out looking like Bronson. Or a skinny little Mr. Burns. Haha. Right away she took to nursing very well and hasn't stopped since. She's seriously packed on some weight and gets more and more beautiful every single day. I still have days that I look at her and start bawling because I'm so I'm love.

My biggest concern was how Zuri would react to having a new baby sister and i was happy when she instantly fell in love with her just like the rest of us. She loves to hold baby Remi "skin to skin" and she loves telling me what Remi wants and when she wants it, and usually how to give it to her. She's a little mother to say the least.

Remi is now 9 weeks old, weighs over 11 pounds, and has this household wrapped around her tiny finger. She's smiling more and more, sleeps throughout the night and a good majority of the day too. She's so happy and loves to be snuggled constantly. She's stubborn though, and won't have anything to do with a binky or bottle so it looks like mom and Remi wont be having much time away from each other for the next 10 months or so... I'm ok with it!

Remi at 7 weeks

Nightly nakey snuggle sesh. Our favorite.

This is two days before I had Miss Remi Lou....its the very last picture taken of me pregnant. And yup, I stole it off Intsagram

The first smile ever captured!

Blue eyes like her dad and sister.

ohh emm geee

Have to, have to, HAVE TO go to TreasureLayne Photo blog and check out darling photos of ZuZu love. Zuri and Kari were out taking pictures for aaaawhile, and if you know anything about my loving daughter, then you would know how everything she's feeling shows up in her face. No hidding it whatsoever. So, I'm so happy Kari captured many of the classic Zuri faces we're seeing these days.

Kari is the best in the west, and not to mention my pregnant partner in crime.
I love her...and you will too.

Ill put all the million or so other wonderful photos from their photo shoot up on here whenever I find an extra minute.
oh! and the photos from the 3rd, yes THIRD, birthday party way back in early July.
OH! and a picture of me in my 30th week of pregnancy.
OH! AND! finally a much need photo of all my wonderful students.

Just say it, I know your thinking it.
I suck at blogging now.

the mama and the papa and the baby bear

ZuZu from Michael Paul on Vimeo.

I know I've posted this before, but Im missing my family being all under one roof....so I watch this over and over again and it makes me ohhh so happy.

ps...husband is moving home in 18 days!

befores and afters from todays Lashes

Meet Lindsey
Above is her before lashes..
and here's her after...

Here is my hot mama, Joy.

Although Joy is extremely hot, her lashes were not.

But now they are!

ooo la la, mom

And, last but not least, Ryanne
The cutest neighbor around.
I didn't get a before, so we'll skip right to the afters..

EYELASHES!

Want Eyelash Extensions?

Come to ME!

I've recently become obsessed with doing eyelash extensions.... so every auntie, neighbor lady, and their daughters have all got them on around here now.

Yes, even my 8 year old sister.
(I feel a little "Toddlers in Tiaras" admitting this...scary)

Anyways...If you want a full set I am starting them out at a promotional cost of $65. Yup, you read it correctly....only $65! And $35 for a fill at about every 3-4 weeks. And, not to fear, I am kind of the best in the world at them....just sayin.

I use all professional products from iLash including the BEST bonding glue there is... Its a "Flex-Bond" technology that gives you the strongest, longest hold possible, while keeping a soft and supple texture so you feel like nothing is our your lashes at all. Im telling you, its the best. Especially for this desert dry climate in Utah...the best.

Plus, I just got a brand new shipment of professional chemical peels, and facial products from Image in. If you haven't heard of Image check them out here.

Come see me folks!

801.367.2335


oh ya, and if you want to see what else I offer go to my Esthetics Blog!

boo hoo

If I was 8...and a boy...and if it was raining, this is exactly how I would look right now.

Mr. Christensen had to get on a plane today and head back LA. And Ive been fighting some serious emptiness, sadness, and have been holding back tears all day.

You see, theres a catch 22 when living away from your loved one. After 10 weeks straight of not seeing them and doing everything yourself and on your own, you almost get used to solitude. You get used to not checking in and leaving when you want to, and not worrying about your significant others schedule....cause no matter what, it doesnt change your day. Loneliness and single mother-ness becomes normal even though its not normal and youre in a healthy committed marriage.

So you get used to this...hating it all the while, but regardless, its your life and you cope with it. And then, he comes home for 6 days and its like the best vacation youve ever been on. Seriously. Youre just watching nextflix on the dirty old couch in the basement and its better than being on any beach in Hawaii. This, of course, makes you realize how nothing in the world is better than having the people you love more than anything else surrounding you...it makes you realize what you have, and know how awful life is like without them.

So I guess its a good thing....? Right?

The hardest part is knowing what its like without them and having to say goodbye. I'm directly back at square one and have to fight all over again to toughen up, get myself out of bed, and just keep moving forward. But, its not like before when we were going into this blind. Were fully aware of the heartache and the frustration that comes with not being able to experience little things that make day to day life enjoyable together.

This is all happening for a reason, and our family is becoming stronger for it, Im sure. But, dear husband, I'm over it. Move home.

husband in town= photo fun time

finally.

old journal reading.

So I was reading my great grandma Lil's journal in church today, and it made me want to go home and go through my old ones. It also made me want to document things better too...so I've committed to starting a "life journal" so that maybe one day when I'm long gone, one of my great grandchildren can thumb through it while bored at church, and think how cool their old great grandma Weslie was.

And I guess this picture above has nothing to do with this blog post. I just really like it. Welllll, nevermind.. I guess it does have a lot to do with this type of post. Cause one of the entries I found today was Bronsons and mine very first kiss......which of course led to getting family pictures 6 years later down the road.

sooo it goes like this......word for word.
(wait.....pause! some backstory here......I had moved back to Utah and had been living here for less than 4 months when I met Brons. It was August 2005. We both were in other relationships so we were just friends for 5ish months. For some reason I thought I didnt like Bronson....like i thought that he thought he was way too cool for school. I later found out he thought the same exact thing about me, because I would constantly blow him off whenever he texted.....then one day he came to my house with a bunch of other people while I was babysitting my sister Haidyn who was only 2 at the time.....and in front of all our wayyyy cool non-baby-loving friends, Bronsons DIED over Haidyn. He was snuggling her and loving her and totally focused on just her in the most not cool way ever. But to me, it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen any 17 year old boy do. It was over from there on out. You can say our other "significant others" at the time werent so significant from that day on.)

March 2006
"So, tonight Bronson kissed me. What!? It was so unexpected. We were at Bonny's house (the Earls Moms house) like always and we were trying to do backflips in the backyard. I havent done one in forever and I was scared, so Todd and Bronson were spotting me. I did a few and then my hair was all crazy so I walked from their back porch to inside their Family room in the front of their house to put my hair back up. I was looking in the mirror and my hands were both holding my ponytail cause I was in "mid tie" (hahaha this made me laugh reading it over again) when Bronson came around the corner without saying anything and just grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me really fast..but not too fast. haha! like a peck....but not a dumb one. it was like a realllly good one.
And then he kinda just looked at me and he smiled and I was smiling too, but we both didnt say anything. I felt SO dumb cause my freaking hands never left from holding my stupid ponytail! so were just kinda looking at each other and I finish throwing my hair up really fast, then he just walks away....so as he's going around the corner he put his hand around his back, like for me to hold...so I held his hand until we got back to the backyard where everyone was. Neither of us told anyone...but I know they could all tell something was up cause Alicia kept looking over at me and smiling...so I asked Bronson if he told anyone and he said no, and so we agreed to keep it our little secret.
I should probably feel bad. But I dont. He doesnt either...im sure of it. I think I like him more than I should. For sure I do. And plus, He's always telling me to break up with (insert x boyfriends name here) and texts me a lot... so I know he likes me too. I dont know though. He just seems different in a way I really like. We'll see."


And that, my friends, is the beginning of our story. It was so funny reading it again after 5 years that I thought I wanted to share it with the world. Well, the world wide web at least.

And I thought I should share at least one pic of the little chug on the way finally too. This was her when I was about 17 weeks...so shes much bigger now at 24 weeks. Which means so am I. I already think she's a doll though, and I think her name might be Lola. Lola Plum Christensen. Maybe. Just maybe though.

Crap. I'm addicted to unisome.

Its 12:25 am and I am brushing my teeth and washing my face, and I want to give all of you a peek into what was going through my twisted ADD brain in approximately 30 seconds.... tops.

"Hmmm I really need to remember to buy good face wash. Crap! I haven't taken my unisome yet....I'm never going to get to sleep tonight. That means I'll most likely have a headache tomorrow from sleep deprivation. Ah! I have the new class to teach tomorrow. Scarryy. Where the hell did I put the taxes?! I'm probably really addicted to unisome....I should try to not to take it tonight and see what happens. I miss bronson. I either need to go to wal-mart and stock up on frozen dinners for school, or start making dinners to take with me again. Ill probably get subway. ...Yup, subway it is. Oohhh I liked that 20 year old guy from undercover boss that works at subway. Was I this huge at 22 weeks with Zuri? I feel so massive. Seriously, where did I put the taxes!? They're lost. Were screwed. I'm definitely taking a unisome. Wheres the unisome again?"

At this point I'm drying my face and searching for the freaking bottle of sleep aids and taxes all at the same time,and then I realize what a nutcase I am and give up on all of it.

But tomorrow, I'm really not going to take a Unisome. Tomorrow.

zuzu falls asleep on her froggy potty

Zu and I went camping with the Christensen klan over the weekend and it was a blast! We got snowed in the last night but that didnt stop the fun. As you can see in the video above, Miss Zu pants was pretty tuckered out and found her self a comfy seat to take a little snooze on. I don't think I've ever laughed harder

zuzu falls asleep on her froggy potty

Zu and I went camping with the Christensen klan over the weekend and it was a blast! We got snowed in the last night but that didnt stop the fun. As you can see in the video above, Miss Zu pants was pretty tuckered out and found her self a comfy seat to take a little snooze on. I don't think I've ever laughed harder

zuzu falls asleep on her froggy potty

Zu and I went camping with the Christensen klan over the weekend and it was a blast! We got snowed in the last night but that didnt stop the fun. As you can see in the video above, Miss Zu pants was pretty tuckered out and found her self a comfy seat to take a little snooze on. I don't think I've ever laughed harder

People Water

Guys, please support my husband in this great cause!

Its the reason we're sacrificing all this time away from each other.... and trust me when I say that I wouldn't be ok with it if People Water wasn't such a truly amazing company thats whole purpose is to help those who are in need around the world.

The website is up! So, click peoplewater.org to learn more about what People Water is all about.

and ps....I looooove the video of Cody and Jef. watch it!

I'm retiring...

...my pants.

I couldn't possibly love Modern Family anymore than I already do.

pos

Curse the day Zuri puked into my laptop!

But I don't curse this face. I miss this face. And I miss blogging too.

Basically the last 7 weeks have consisted of adjusting to working again and learning how to become a teacher, and growing this LITTLE GIRL inside my belly.

LITTLE GIRL! what!? I was 150% sure that this little guy was a guy. And even still when I say my prayers at night and I'm going through my list of things to pray for, I always catch myself saying something like....."we pray that this little baby girl......or boy...... will develop fully, blah blah blah" haha. So, I'm thinking I still subconsciously believe its a boy. I was THAT sure she was he.

But in all honesty, I couldn't be happier about another girl entering our family. The thought of two little girls running around together and being there for each other the rest of their lives bring a very hormonal tear to my eye. Its what I wanted more than anything, and I guess I just didn't think I would get what I wanted. But I did! And we're thrilled to say the least! Bronson now says he wants all the rest of them (1 or 2 more or maybe 7) to be girls too...I wouldn't mind that either.

Speaking of Mr. Christensen... He's still out in LA. It sucks. No sugar coating this. We both hate it more and more each week and I can feel my self getting more resentful as time goes on. But I am pregnant, and this pregnancy short temper/impatience-ness was expected. I'm sooooo ready to all live under one roof again and it will probably be sooner rather than later. Hooray!

But I kinda hope you guys haven't forgotten about me. I wouldn't blame you if you have though. I have been M.I.A. for months it feels like, and Ive realized this is a somewhat common trend for me....I take a leave from reality and hibernate usually 4 months out of the year every year. Pregnant, or not. This, I guess, was my 4 months of hibernation and I'm ready to wake up and get up!

all the many reasons I dont feel like blogging. but I will anyways

-I left my camera back in Zombie Land. The city also known as LA. And who likes to read blogs without pictures?
I politely stole this term (zombie land) from Cody, Bronson's now roommate, because nothing could fit the place any better. And the more and more time I spend back home makes me question how I lasted so long out there in the first place. You can say I have come to a definite decision that city living, although fun to try out, is not for me......ever. again. (maybe I shouldn't generalize this to all cities though? But zombie land Los Angeles is really not for me.)

-I'm still sick. Yes I am 13, almost 14 weeks along and this sickness spell really should be over by now. But its not. It may not be as bad as previous weeks have been for me this time around, but since when is throwing up only 2 times a day vs. 9 times per day ever good? Vomit is vomit and any amount of it at all just sucks. I'm sorry, but I will not consider myself well until I can brush my teeth without heavily dry heaving.

-Miss ZuZu lady and my mom got the flu at the same time. Then I got it the day they got better. Saddest thing ever. Zuri layed in bed for 3 days straight like a dead fish. She wouldn't even sit up to throw up...which meant mounds and mounds of laundry, and so many sheet changes that I'm still afraid to put a new set on either of our beds because I'm anticipating another attack. oh! And while laying flat on her back, my tiny 26 pound ball of lovechug managed to projectile vomit directly into my open laptop approximately 2 feet away from her. The laptop died almost instantly, I'm sure of it. I'm glad it was a quick death and the Dell didn't suffer much at all probably. I, on the other hand, am suffering greatly from the loss.

-I'm sorry all I talk about is throw up. But its consuming every aspect of my life currently.

-I've been studying like a mad woman to take my Instructors test for the state of Utah, and happily passed! hooray! Now I'm switching gears and getting all my lesson plans in order and stuffing my brain full information so I, hopefully, am useful to all of my upcoming new students. My mom and sister, and me and zu are leaving for a girls getaway to Cancun next week and the day after we get back I start my first class as a teacher. I'm prettttty dang excited. About both, duh!

-I haven't seen Mr. Christensen in going on 5 weeks now. Miss Lady and I are flying out Monday to spend 3 days with him though! Finally! But its been pretty tough without him. It makes me feel like I have nothing to share about with people when I don't have him around for some reason. booo. Although, having family and friends again is the best thing ever! Nothing replaces him, but I have to say I have the best type of distraction. I've missed day to day, non-baby, human interaction for 6+ months living away from everyone, so I'm soaking up all the people time I can get. Also, it helps that there are incidents like this one day last week I came home from work to find my room clean and laundry done by my mom. what!? SO AMAZING! Shes seen first hand how awful I've been feeling and just decided to do a little extra to make my life easier....and ohhhh how it does make my life easier! Plus I haven't cooked a meal in weeks. I mean WEEEKS!
There is always good mixed in the bad, and the bad just makes the good even better. So I'm happy.

So, there it is. Reasons I don't feel like blogging. But I'm confident this dry spell will end and I will feel healthy again some day, and maybe I'll even buy a cheap camera at Wal-Mart. And just for the record...I'm completely aware of how pessimistic I've become. I feel it in my bones even, but I'm working on it.

Emmy Rossum - Slow Me Down

Have you ever heard this? She's the girl from Phantom of the Opera and I discovered that I loved her about 2 years ago then, rudely, forgot all about her. the live version is better than this one even... Im mildly obsessed.

Another current obsession: GAGA. ooooo la la. I didnt see it coming and then all of a sudden I watched Born this Way, and the next thing I know Im googleling birthday and favorite color. ha. P.S. have you seen her with Andersen Cooper? Pure entertainment in my husbandless life right now. Love her

My little girl isn't so little.

So earlier today I sent this picture to Bronson to show off Zuri's new favorite fashion "must have" item (can you guess what they are?).....and he didn't know it was Zuri in the picture at first glance. WHAT!? He thought it was my 7 year old sister, Haidyn. This almost made me cry because as I looked at the picture again I realized she really does look old. She IS old. She getting tall and lean and tells me to leave her alone now whenever I'm hovering =(.

But then we went to the McDonald playplace 10 minutes later and she peed her big girl underwears while playing somewhere in the huge structure. haha....I was happy in a sense that it brought me back to reality and quickly reminded she's only two and a half and is still my baby who has accidents afterall. She was so upset that she couldnt play in her soaking wet pants that I took her to the bathroom, got her nakey, then tied a jacket around her waist and called it skirt. I just might be labeled bad mother for this one...? Oh well-she had fun!

Oh! and some good...well GREAT FANTASTIC FABULOUSLY MORE WONDERFUL NEWS! ......I got a job! And a job I've always dreamed for actually. I will be an Esthetics Intructor starting April. Im so excited to teach that I can't sleep at night because I constantly am thinking of lesson plans and activities that the students will (hopefully) love. Plus, its been the godsend of a distraction from focusing on being sick 24/7. The end is nearing though. I just feel it.

Im having another baby

The new munchkin is due to arrive October 4th! Everyone in the world already knows so we just decided to stop keeping a secret and let the cat out of the bag. Im 10 weeks and feeling sucky as exepected, so my days consist of laying down mostly and when I get up..I throw up. Its great! Im also 100% sure all my muscles have atrophied and my esophogus is surely going to disinigrate if this sickness does not leave me within the next two weeks. I'm hopeful!

Yay for little Christensen rugrat #2!

holy freakin moly.

Top 7 reasons why I fell off the the face of the blogging world for the last 3 weeks:

1) Mama's been sick.

2) We've had visitors:
-Landon, Bronson's Brother
-Kami and Shane, our dating lovebird friends
-Auntie Jerri and her new husband, Marc +a whole lot of children +Luze who is their Colombian nanny/my new best friend.
-And finally, Grandma Tammy and Grandpa Kyle who have spoiled us absolutely rotten for 4 days straight.
-see....lots and lots of visitors.

3) Auntie Jerri and Marc decided to invite us on their family honeymoon to Disney Land, then to Sea World, then back to Disney Land! They, too, spoiled us completely rotten and I feel like I must have done something good at some point in my life to have gotten such amazing treatment. Im seriously liking new uncle Marc...three days straight of complete fairytale magic and family lovin.... It really couldn't have been more fun.

4) We got rid of our nightmare dog, formally known as Puppyface Baloo Bear. Senor Puppykins turned into a vicious shoe chewing, toy ruining, barking nonstop, peeing everywhere dog disaster. Enough said. So we found a lovely little lady and 9 year old girl who were happy to take him off our hands. And if you're wondering about Zuri....well, she didn't even shed a tear. She was just as sick of him as the rest of us. Trust me.

5)It was Bronson's birthday on the 17th!....happy birthday, my love! I love love love love you...and I suck for not giving you you're own massive birthday love post.

6)Oh and two boys moved in with us...

7)ohhh and I'm moving to Utah tomorrow.

thats all!

hahah....yes, My whole entire life has turned upside down in just less than 2 1/2 weeks. And this, my friends, is an understatement.

We made the decision that I would go back to good old Utah to work a bit, make some extra cash, and hang out with humans here and there.....and maybe even get a car, when I started to (almost) watch 2:30 soap operas. And when Zuri started showing signs of this new phobia of leaving the house/ not wanting to interact with people, I new it was time for a change. Since were tied to our lease with no options of leaving, we knew Brons would stay here to keep working at Gstar and figure out all his business "stuff" thats going on, while I have some family time and options to work back home while not putting Zu Princess in daycare. (ps.....i need a job. Lemme know if you know of any!)

Right about the time this decision was made...our good friends Cody and Jef announced they were moving out here and looking for a place to live. Wellllllll, how absolutely perfect would it be if they moved into our house and split rent!? Too perfect. Its meant to be. Really, it is.

So the last 2 weeks have been the craziest and funnest 2 weeks ever. Jef and Cody have been rays of sunshine in my day to day life, and I don't think they'll ever fully understand how much I loved living with them. Like I said earlier...I've been feeling yucky forever so they do my dishes, entertain ZuZu Lady, get us food, watch American Idol with me, make me laugh all the time, and I just all around love them. So, I guess this is my big public THANK YOU!

On a depressing note, leaving my husband is the suckiest of all that sucks. I want to force him to come with....I really do. And I know he'd rather be with us, too...But so much is happening here that we have to stick it out and just see what happens. I cant explain what makes this crazy decision feel right, but it just does. I think it will pay off in the end-and I'm praying that it will. So, in the mean time were planning a lot of skype dates and keeping our eyes peeled for great flights.

Is my life a roller coaster or what? If I weren't me I would totally read this blog just to see what happens next haha. I'm anxiously awaiting the answers myself.....

My Sweet Wilbert Cat

Zuri has decided to be a cat named Wilbert

Wilbert is fluffy like Baloo, and white....and a boy. She has told me this.

When she's not Wilbert the fluffy white kitty cat then she is BuzzBo the bumble bee and likes to sting me with her butt all the time. I HAVE to yell "ouch!" reallllly loud every time I get stung.

Then there is Rufus the mean dragon.

Who blows fire on Puppy when the puppy is being bad.

and drinks lots of water cause having fire in your mouth is so SPICY, duh.

I can thank Dragon Hunters on Netflix for this current obsession.

And finally,

Shes Strawberry Shortcake who loves watering things with a tiny teapot watering can.

I cant shorten her name to Strawberry.... because then I get,

"MOM! my name ez straberry short CAKE! don't say strawberry!"

okay miss feisty bum.....

Wilbert is the nicest and easiest to put to sleep so I like him the best. When I want her to do something that she usually puts up a fight with, like brushing hair...or teeth, then I call Mr. Wilbert and ask him to be my nice kitty cat. And viola!.....brushing teeth turns into fun.

Strawberry Shortcake is the worst and I cringe when I feel her coming on.

Shes high-maintenance and always needs water in her tiny watering can and fake berries and plants to pick.....I'd rather be stung by BuzzBo than deal with princess Strawberry Shortcake.

The make believe stage is in full effect, people.

* and I forgot, I am supposed to blog about Jerry Sloan leaving the Jazz. When Bronson found out he said, "you have to blog about Jerry Sloan!" He's heartbroken I think.

weird......I know. But he's never, not ever, asked me to blog about anything. Never even really mentions my blog. So brons, this if for you.

Sloan left the JAZZ! what!?

Zu @ The Park

Umm, Just call me Michelle from the Bachelor.

Because I woke up with a black eye.

But I, unlike Michelle, at least now how mine came about.

I was watching a Netflix doc late at night like always (called, The Horse Boy... totally loved it. Its about an autistic boy and his journey in Mongolia to try to be healed. Try it out.) but anyways, I was laying down flat with the laptop propped up on my bent legs. Mr. Baloo Baby Puppykins Furball Cub-Face was munching on my hair way up on my pillow and he was starting to bug, bad. So, I swatted him away and while doing so, I tipped my legs forward which made the laptop lose its balance and come crashing down right on my cheekbone/eye socket.

I literally cried. It hurt sooooo bad. I tried to wake Bronson up but he was as good as dead. So I cursed at the damn dog and just held my eye.

I hoped I would have a black eye in the morning just for proof (and to justify my crying fit), so I was pleasantly surprised to wake up to a decent shiner. I feel pretty tough walking around the streets of LA with black eye....lemme tell ya.

what the...?

Today Zuri and I decided to go up to the pool.

We haven't been up lately because....well, I don't really know why we haven't. I've been in a mental funk lately. Or maybe its cause I have this huge black eye and don't want to explain how that a laptop fell on my face, and know that the person I am explaining it to is thinking about my mostly likely mean/abusive husband haha.

So anyways, were up at the pool and this girl close to my age is there again. I see her pretty often, and most of the time she is either reading or is listening to music so we smile at each other, but have never spoken. This day I see that she is reading this book called Come Back ....an AMAZING book that I recommend to anyone wanting an interesting read. So I say to her,

"Oh! How are you liking that book?"

She replies that she loves it and we talk about where shes at in it, etc.

The conversation kind of quiets down after a minute so she starts reading again and I'm dealing with ZuMonster, when she out of nowhere puts her book down and says,

"You're so nice!"

She said it like she was completely shocked/amazed.

So I kind of laugh and say,

"Well, thanks! I like to think I'm pretty nice. My husband might not agree with you everyday on that subject, though."

And she replies by laughing and saying....

"And funny too!....I dont know why I was ever intimidated!"

I kind of didnt know what to say after she says this so I just said something like,

"intimidated of ME?! what the heck? Im just a normal, boring mom."

haha. good one, huh?

And then we both laughed a polite laugh then carried on with what we were doing.

On the elevator ride back down to our studio I was kind of flabbergasted.

Why would this girl be completely shocked that I could be nice?

What is wrong with my face!?!?

Why on Earth do I look mean and unapproachable, and intimidating?!

Do I give off this horrible scary vibe?!

And then it hits me that I think I kind of do...

I think I give off this unapproachable vibe in person, but not on purpose at all.

It's more that I am shy. Or maybe I really do have a death glare I honestly dont know about.

But really, I'm completely shy and somewhat reserved, and I hate attention on myself.

For real, I literally turn beat red when I know that a group of people are looking at me.

This shyness has plagued me since Elementary...Maybe its due to the fact that I went to 6 different Elementary schools, 1 Junior High, and 3 different High Schools...? I just hated all that unwated attention of being the new girl so many different times, I got this, like, phobia of it. It has kept me from doing things I really wanted to do in the past too..... like talent shows or trying out for dance, or whatever.

I think this is why I like blogging so much, because all the focus is on what I'm saying without me having to stand up in front of people to say it....? Does that make sense?

Thankfully, this shyness disease has gotten 1000 times better since I've gotten older and became a Mom. I feel more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have before, but after today I realized its a part of me...it will always be apart of me, and I have to work extra hard to keep that wall down and be more approachable.

So this is my resolution to be more outgoing, open, and friendly with people....And to finally conquer my phobia of attention on my self. And also, allow myself to get closer to people with out the fear of them being ripped away..... to really put energy into making friends again that our my own...and I dont mean Bronsons friends that become my friends, cause I have a thousand of those (that I love, love, LOVE and am so happy to call my own friends). BUT...I need lady friends.

I think I have had enough time now to figure out how to balance being a mama, wife, landlord daughter/daughter in law, and keep a semi decent house all at once, and can now handle some me time without feeling selfish or worried. Really, I'm ready for it.

Plus, I should just get over it, right? Being shy is stupid.

you have to watch this!

I don't know why it has taken me so long to link this video...wait, JK, I do know why. Its probably because I just figured out how to link things like yesterday.

But here it is! Finally!

And a million more thanks to the guy who made it...Mr. Michael Paul, you're the best.

Some happy times in the last few days

We got to eat food! HIGHLIGHT of my LIFE! After 5 days on the Cleanse (and seriously not one bit of cheating) we were hanging out in Venice with our friends and had forgot our drinks. You feel great and energized as long as you have Lemon and syrup +cayenne in you like every hour....well we missed a few hours and were starved! Plus, having friends there with us planning on going to Chipotle was too much, and we said enough was enough. 5 days of a digestional re-birth was great...but, so was that veggie Burrito Bowl.

Then Papa Billy (my dad) was in town for a night and had time to stop by and spend the night! This photo was usually how things were while he was here. Zu was glue to his side and wanted "cuddle" all night long. Im realizing more and more how sick of us she really is.

I was cleaning up when I found this crown on the statue we brought back from Rome last May and laughed my booty off. Everything and everyone is a Princess to little miss ZuLadies eyes. And finding surprises around the house like this from my munchkin makes life oh-so-enjoyable.

We topped the week of with Zuri getting to play at a fun park and we got hang out with Sam and Corey. Pretty dang fun

OH JOY! Rapture! Splendid! LOVELY!

Those are the words I have decided to teach ZuLady in place of normal happy/exciting words like...yay! or....Great! or....Fantastic!

But, I cannot take all the credit for this idea. I was inspired.

Awhile back we were spending the day in Santa Monica while Mr. Christensen worked. On his break we went to eat in this amazing outdoor food court.

We took the puppy this particular day, and the amount of attention he draws in is crazy...I've, truthfully, thought about setting up a stand and charging a dollar. I'd probably match what Brons is bringing home easily. JK, babe.

But anyways, so we're eating and this darling, tiny redhead girl comes over. She's smaller than ZuZu but speaks like a Harvard grad with an ah-mazing English accent.

After playing for a bit I ask her, "How old are you?"

She replies in the tiniest most proper English fairy voice you can imagine and says,

"I am two and a half...you have quite a lovely pet."

We start cracking up...then I ask her what her name is and she replies...

"Fennel....like the herb."

Fennel like the herb?!?! BAh! Dying.

It was honestly too much. I wanted to gobble her up. Poor Zu was soo outdone by this other 2.5 year old that I bought her new flashcards the next day.

So, Fennel, if you ever come across this, you have inspired me to teach my daughter funny words, that hopefully she will use in public one day soon. Thanks!

AND NOT TO BE FORGOTTEN!

Happy birthday to my gorgeous mama-in-law, Tammy today!

We LOVE YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

some things about her we love:

*she's never died her hair

*She's scared of bugs and creepy things

*shes one the most genuinely happy/excited people I have ever known

*shes the best cook in the World...(real hard to live up to, thanks Tam)

*Sometimes we watch sad things on the Internet together just so we can cry.

*OH! she LOVES Bon Jovi!

*Shes "low-maintenance"...my kinda gal

*She's calls it how she sees it and doesn't take crap.

*She's the sweetest nicest lady around and all our friends and the rest of the Christensen's boys friends think of her like a second mom.....she kinda is, cause she definitely feeds 'em enough to be.

*And finally, she the best mama-in-law and Grandma we could ever dream for.

Love you Tam

Today I hid in a 3x3 laundry closet for 20 minutes.

Just to escape.
To escape my tiny house that seems to be swallowing me whole.

Let me explain....between the barking, the 2 year old whining, the Care Bears theme song blaring, and my favorite HGTV about to start the noise seemed too much. And the constant mess. I feel like all I do is clean....literally all I do is pick up stuff. I cant escape it in this micro studio, and for a brief moment it all became too much.

I thought about locking myself in the bathroom but I've tried that before it doesn't work.....So i hoped in the closet and crammed my body between our stacked washer and dryer and a folded up stroller, on top of some shoes and just sat.

In there, I thought about how ridiculous the whole situation was.....I thought about the reasons I really wanted to put myself in the closet. Its not because of the noise or the mess....although, those are incredibly annoying. I'm realizing how trapped and out of control I feel.

There are so many things I want to do...and really , right now would be the perfect time. But I cant. I don't have a car. I cant go to places I want to go to. Or buy the things I need...I can never even leave this city. Today is Sunday and I couldn't go to church because Bronson works Sundays. That's it. I hate it so much. I feel completely imprisoned because I don't have the freedom of a car. I feel so imprisoned that I imprison my self in a closet.

-And husband is working from 10am to 10pm making me into a single parent 5 days a week.
-And now animals aren't allowed on the roof so we cant go to the pool without a major meltdown
-And were saving all our pennies just to pay for parking....freaking parking.
-And husbands 2 days off/week consist of annoying errands instead of a relaxing work free day.
-And I'm sick of being lonely.
-And theres a supposed "superstorm" hitting CA, where its predicted to rain for 40+days.
-And I really miss grass.
-And children.

So, those are all the things I thought about in the closet. Everything I don't have, and can't do. Which is stupid because I am beyond blessed. I really have so much to be grateful for...and I am grateful. I think I just have bad days like everyone else. I know that in time everything will work itself out and r ight now were just putting in our dues.....sacrificing now in the hopes that we can have an even greater future.

Here's where my day turns around:

Just about an hour ago Zuri was asking me to fill up her baba with cocoa for probably 5 minutes....I was ignoring her the whole time making dinner. Finally she yells,
"Mom, how many timez i gotcha tell ya?! I need a cocoa baba! Right now! You rascal! Stinky ol' RASCAL! ...baybay!"

I was laughing so hard I peed. I kept asking her where she heard "rascal" and "stinky ol'" from, because those are things we certainly don't say,
and she would just say, "I don't know! you...you.... dewey, rascal!"
and then "mama baybay,...LOOK AT ME! you got my stinky ol' baba NOW?"

This all made me laugh even harder. I really have nothing to complain about, especially because of this crazy kid I have to entertain me, but since I came into this blog with the "for better, or for worse mentality", of course I had to share about my closet trip today.