I must be back in LA.

because as we're lying in bed right now we hear things on the street below.

husband: "was that a duck?"

me: "no."

husband: "i swear it sounded just like a duck."

me: "it was a black lady bum."

husband: "oh."

I miss all my family dearly, but it sure is good to be back!

Man oh man.... where to start?

So, I'm in Utah!

We planned on coming out here for Christmas forever ago and have been soooo excited...counting down the days even. Then, three days before we are scheduled to leave we decide to go to Santa Monica and hang out. There, Bronson walks into his favorite store and ends up landing a job. WOOO HOOO! I couldnt be more happy for him.

But...and this is a big but.....the job needed him now or never. Meaning no vacation. No skiing. No Christmas. No husband.

And now I can say I fully understand the meaning of the phrase bittersweet.

So, Im out in Utah having a blast..but missing him like crazy-and even more sad that he's missing all this. Then Mr. Matt Clayton send me these photos and I get teary eyed. For real. Teary eyed.

Matt is a genius photographer and Bronson should quit everything he's got going on and go into male modeling or something. Right?

All I know is that I keep bursting into tears randomly.... Out of happiness/sadness... I think I just miss him bad.

...or maybe its cause I crashed my in laws car into a gargantuan pothole two days ago and popped their tire, bent their rim, and some sort of fluid was leaking out of their engine. I don't think Ive ever felt so bad. seriously.

Of course, theyre just happy were ok and are being wonderful as always-but I still cant help but cringe over it.

phewww.... Im looking forward to the day when my blogs consist of things I made for dinner and Zuris art or something. Im tired of having to blog about yucky days like the Verizon Store poopoo incident, and stressful job Changes, ect.

Until then, enjoy reading about the craziness that we currently call our life!

Shoot!

I'm involuntarily becoming granola. HEY! I can't help it!

After doing research on vitamins and minerals online a few months back-and then actually buying and consuming them regularly, I noticed a huge difference in how I feel, sleep, eat, and behave. I feel happier even. So, this launched me into doing even more reasearching and I came across this film called FoodMatters. Its all about nutrition and how Doctors are prescribing pills in place of proper nutrition because they simply were not taught nutrition.

Some interesting things I learned in this film:
-when any food is cooked past a certain temperature, its proven that your body actually attacks it like an invader in your body. Even if it is a healthy food.
- 2 handfuls of cashews a day is equivalent to the prescription Prozac.
-Niacin (vit. B-3) is linked to helping addicts cope with their addictive habits and even pull people out of depression.
-there is practically no such thing as intaking too many vitamins/minerals-contrary to the popular belief that it is bad for you to take a lot of vitamins and minerals.

So, of course I'm on this natural kick and feeling better than I've felt in long time and I come across this...

Another documentary about the meds the majority of women are put on during childbirth and the negative snowball affect they create.

I've always leaned towards natural things-ever since I was a teenager...and even when I was pregnant with Zuri I would teter with the thought of a more natural birth, but when it came down to it I was so scared of the unknown and the pain (plus stresses of working full time and buying a house 3 weeks before) that I just didnt really want to worry about it. But after having her and knowing what contractions feel like-and now being more educated on the process I kind of feel confident with going the natural route. And natural meaning no inducing, definitely no pitocin-Im not saying no epidural yet..we'll cross that bridge when were there...(pshhh im not even pregnant and not even thinking of getting pregnant anytime soon, but its nice to plan)...but I see the benefits of not having one.
And Im thinking a midwife assisted birth would be cool since it is their actual profession to assist birthing women compared to an OBGYN who is a trained surgeon punching in a time clock. In the film they actually point out that most C-sections in the US are at 4pm and 10pm....right when shifts are about to end in hospitals. I found this pretty telling. They want you in and out and dont want to miss dinner.

Anyways, both these are really interesting and informative films to watch if you're ever bored!

An ode to the Mr. Christensen.

Awe...i love us.

So this past week and half has been particularly rough on our mental state. Brons found out that funding for his job that would have started in January with the designer he's interning for has fell through. Plus, our godsend of a tenant renting out our PG condo gave us his 30 days notice to move out because of a job change the very next day.

AND THEN! the worst of all this for me happened on the third day of gut wrenching, life altering, stress inducing bad news. A freaking flat tire.

I had a total meltdown. You see, Bronson had arranged a new job within 10 minutes of hearing the bad news about the position falling through with Charlie. Seriously...10 minutes. I have a super husband. And the meeting with them was on Friday morning. Friday morning rolls around and bronson hikes the 50 miles(ok its really a block away..but theres a big hill you have to climb-its hard) to our parking garage to find a nail in our tire. He's missing his interview.

He calls me to tell me the news and I feel like my life is over.. I start crying into blanket for the next hour while he on the other hand is totally calm, cool, and collected. He lets me know he'll "just skate to place that sells that fix-a-flat stuff and figure it out".

So, to make a long story short..well, shorter, he skates from 7th street to 27 street into ghetto south central LA and back, fills the tire, finds a place to get a new tire (or fix it---I dont know what happened to be honest), and then drives to his interview.

During all this he never had a glimmer of a freak out. Not even "what do i do now" moment. Not even a bad mood when he got home--he didnt even complain at all. It totally amazes me how he just takes care of things the moment they arise and always maintains his good and optimistic attitude.

He's such a good man and I love seeing him transform into an even better one with every month we've been married. We've had our fair shares of ups and downs, and high highs along with the lowest of lows. Im just so glad we stuck those moments out and learned how to be married together and how to be parents together. Looking back I know that all the struggles we faced were to get us to this spot today and I'm so happy I have him to lean on.

Oh, and he got the job. =)

Uh-oh zuzu

sheesh....this falls only two days after the sharpie-marker-mustache incident she had. she told me her huge black mustache was beautiful makeup.... then I told her permanent makeup is not aloud and threw that nasty black sharpie away.

and today we were sitting on the couch together in silence -completely enthralled in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaban when she asks;
zuri-mom, how do you feel?
me-fabulous. how do you feel.
zuri-ohh soooo so faahhhvulous.
me-thats great.
zuri-yup, really great. watch the show, mom.

and a few days ago she was wanting me to hurry up and make her a fort out of blankets and chairs...i guess i was moving a little slowly because she yelled- "C'MON GANG!.....therezes a mystery to solf!" after she crawled in her fort and closed the doors I heard her talking to Shaggy, Scooby, Fred, and mostly Velma for good 30 minutes. she never mentions Daphne..?

Oh little miss zu zu lady....how boring our life would be without you. Please stop growing up this instance. I mean it!

Dear Mr. Claus

All I want for Christmas is the Shark Vac then Steam. I drool over this. Honestly, why hasnt this been invented sooner? OK, and in a perfect world, maybe a spa package or two...
Oh! and some Rachel Ray pots and pans...

And, while I'm on a roll, the package set of Your Baby Can Read!....thats all! I swear!

You have to drop a hint or two, or three, or four to the hubs, right? Well heres mine loud and clear honey bunny.

And something you should be asking for this wonderful time of year?

These magnificent, wonderful, fabulously oh-so-comfy Zella work out pants found in Nordstroms. I live in mine....seriously.

Its an issue.

They:

-dont fade

-dont lose their shape

-are reversable

-have a really cool hidden pocket

-hold you in in alllll the right places

-and, are fabulous to work out in-then throw a cute long shirt and boots on so you can go shopping without looking like a polygafrump (thanks to TAMN from seriously, so blessed! for my new favorite word).

have you ever..

gone to bed knowing that the very next morning and every day after that your life will be nothing like it used to be?

so weird.

holy shiz...you must read

Seriously, So Blessed! at seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com

I'm dying!

litterally, I'm 50% mortified and 50% amused....I hate this lady but love her for giving me this free entertainment.

Im confused about it to be honest.

I kind of dont think its real

But you can decide for yourself!

oooooooooo kay.

Meet Bri.

We Adore her and her husband Jared....They also have a cute little puppy named Tank who is one of Zuris best friends out here.....Well WAS one of her little very best friends. After 2 months of blissfully eating dinner with them....spray tanning them....TV watching with them...Yorgurtland devouring with them....they picked up and moved to Utah. =( Booooo Hooooo. The Christensen family is seriously depressed about this. They taught us the ins and outs of city livin', so I thought a memorial blog for the Johnsons was appropriate.

you are missed!

Also, I think its necessary to finally write of list of all the funny stuff Zuri says these days.

Brons and I are so used to it that we think its normal for a little tiny baby girl to yell "POPPYCOCK!" when she doesnt get her way, but the people in the elevator or in the check out lines beg to differ.

Among words like "poppycock" she also likes to say:

"fine, Fine, FINE!" when we ask he to do something for us.

"I HATE DAMNIT!" yep, you read it right. We heard her say the big d word one day (thanks brons....ok maybe I have a little something to do with it too)and we had to have a talk about bad words and how they're naughty, and how we hate bad words. After the little chit-chat she belted out "ya, I hate Damnit!" We were laughing so hard that she now thinks its funny. But, really......soooo not funny.

The first thing she says when she wakes up in the morning is "ooooo

I miss ed youd mom!" Melts my little heart.

By the way..its now 11:53 am and she is still asleep in her bed. Today the sleeping in is a little excessive, but usually by 10:30 or 11 I have to yank her out of bed.

Speaking of little devil...she just woke up...Now that I know I want to write all these little words and phrases down I'll keep a better note of them so I can, of course, share with you.

and just for fun..rory and brons. 2005..

dug this out of the archives....

zuri meets mickey

welcome to the world little chug.

How freakin adorable is Mr. Copelin Dallas Christensen (aka MY NEPHEW!)?
I wanna eat him up! Look at his hair! haha and his cute little scowl...aweee I cant wait to see him in person.

Kylie had him today somewhere around 5 pm and both mama and baby are happy and healthy!

We can't wait to get to Utah and play with with our lil nephew and cousin as soon as we can! And since I am already planning on being his favorite auntie in the world...you better get used to hearing about him.

We love you new mama Kylie and papa Dallas and darling baby Cope

Little update

My blog got a face lift! Dont you just love it?
I was telling bronson how much I wanted to do something new with it and VOILA...he popped this sucker out.
There are some major benefits of having a husband in design....One being I hardly have to be crafty or creative at all. Scrapbooking...definitely not my thing.

But, on to other things.... I havent been blogging much lately mostly because I dont have a computer during the day, and secondly, because I feel like it took me a minute to get used to the lay of the land out here in the City of Angels. To be honest, I have no idea why they call it that. It stinks like human and pet pee everywhere, and the closet thing I've seen to any angels out here was on Halloween-partially dressed angels, duh.
But minus the peepee stink and having to carry pepper spray wherever I go, I think I'm really starting to like it out here. Really. I kinda love it.

Our ward is awesome. Its in Korea Town and it looks like a huge white Muslim/Catholic cathedral if there even were such a thing. There are a ton of cool couples out here in our similar situation so its really nice. ohhhh and we have a calling! dun dun dun! Ward Web Page Keepers. Best calling ever.

And Zu has been adjusting just fine. She created little imaginary guys that we take all over with us....so shes not lonely of course. For the longest time I asked her who they were and she would say "little guys" or "my friends" then one day that scrubbing bubbles bath tub cleaner commercial came on the TV and she said "hey! theres my friends!" I laughed forever and ever about it. We went swimming yesterday and got sunburned in the 93 degree weather which is mind boggling to me, a native of Denver CO and Highland UT. I keep waking up thinking that today is the day it will get cold and snowy....and so far it keeps not happening. We're not complaining, though.

Bronson is still interning with Charlie Lapson full time and keeping busy designing his line and being his normal creative self. We have become beyond obsessed with Dexter, and more recently, Weeds on netflix. If you don't have it....get it. It will be the best $9 per month you'll ever spend. Ever.

And me, I am going to start blogging more. Keeps me semi sane.
Thats all, kids!

I think I am emotionally ready to share this embarrassing story that has kept me from blogging for about 3 weeks.

Aren't Verizon stores nice?! Well, the one me and my small family of 3 went to a couple weeks ago was especially nice since it was located on Rodeo Drive around the corner from shops like Louis Vuitton, Gucci and other fabulous la-de-da stores that just make me feel uncomfortable.

It was time to finally make the switch from AT&T to Verizon because this mama was sick of paying the outrages phone bill every month, so, as we were on our way to the store to pick out new phones Bronson was literally pouting/whimpering about getting rid of his Iphone.

This was where the problem started.

I was so preoccupied with trying to make my un happy husband pick a stupid non Iphone phone, that I kind of ignored all Zuri's little nudges, pulls, and attempts to get my attention.

Here's problem number 2:

We had been in the store for about 15 minutes so everyone and their dog (literally...there was a dog in the store) loved and commented on how cute Zuri was. By this time we had picked out phones and were at the counter trying to square away all the details.

This is when I noticed mud tracked all over.

weird.

that was my only thought.

and then i looked closer.............

ewwww! that dog pooped everywhere! I mean EVERYWHERE! I start saying out loud how disgusting it was and that I have a child playing on the floors, so the owner should take it outside.

And then.......... I notice corn and black beans.

Dogs don't eat mexican...?

ummm....uhhhhhh. Did we? Yup....we definitely had mexican chili earlier today.

CRAP! I grab Zuri and secretly check her bum....OHH NO! How can this be?????!

She definitely pooped in her big girl underwears, and it definitely fell out her big baggy pants, and she has definitely been stomping around in it for minutes without me noticing.

Problem #3

I look at brons.....he looks at me.....in silence we agree to pretend it wasn't our child.

PLEASE DONT JUDGE US! We dont know why we came to this silent decision together...maybe it was because we had just made a scene about the dogs owner not being responsible...or maybe were just severely messed up. I dont know?

So, from here I ask if brons has everything under control at the counter and let him know Im walking to McDonalds to "grab a snack" and then, I simply walk out.

Were in the McDonald's bathroom and I practically bathe zuzu in the sink.
 I throw her little mermaid underwear away in the trash, and a homeless lady living in the McDonald's bathroom chews me out-Thankfully I couldn't understand her, and had too much else on my mind to care about anything she is saying to me.
All I really remember about her is that Zuri called her "ebil see witch ersellla" (Ursala the evil sea witch) and she didn't want to go back in the bathroom....this is bad.
"And why?" you ask....You'll find out in a minute.

We make our way back to the Verizon store and in my mind I'm 100% sure the mess will be picked up....so, I am stunned to find white paper towels scattered everywhere when we walk back in.
We, and everyone else in there, are jumping and leaping over paper towel covered poop. Like every 2 feet in every direction is smeared, or balled, or logged poo!

My daughters poop!

I practically run out of the store....there wasn't a chance in hell I could stay in there with all her poopoo covered mounds all over the place, and I think I was too stubborn to stop the "this poop isn't my daughters" act.
It had been like 20 minutes....I couldn't just all of a sudden start picking it up....ahhhhh! I have anxiety even remember this! it was the worst!

So, now were stuck outside. Zuri is scared of the evil sea witch Ursala in the Mcdonalds bathroom so we cant go to Mcdonalds-everywhere else is closed.
There we are... on the side of the road.... its night......its lightly drizzling.....its cold, yet I'm sweating with anxiety and embarrassment, and I honestly can't believe bronson is in there...all alone...with the poop.

He finally comes out an hour later and tells me:

He's paid and walking out the door when the manager taps him on the shoulder.

Their conversation went down like this...

manager: Sir, do you mind picking up after your baby?

Bronson: ohh, my wife checked. It wasnt her. Its not her poop.

manager: Well, an associate of mine saw her defecate, then proceeded to trample the feces around the store.

Bronson: uhhhh, ok Ill clean it.

Then the manager handed him Lysol and a scrubby brush, and turned without another word.

ugghhhhhh oh no!
the thought of this makes me close my eyes and scream like Im about to go down a roller coaster. its such deep pitted embarrassment that we didn't even talk about it for at least 24 hours after the "incident" happened. It took days to even start to laugh it off and after a month its finally hilarious. thank goodness!

I learned some lessons from this experience, the most valuable being to always use princess pull-ups when leaving the house.

Ive always been an old soul

Please don't be surprised when the next time you see me I seem to resemble this old gem above.

You see...I enjoy comfy pants near my bellybutton these days,
and apple cinnamon herbal tea.

I just spent an hour researching vitamins and minerals for my health, and signed up for an online book club because the thought of reading all day long literally puts a smile on my face.

My biggest outings and plans for the next week all revolve around walking down my hall, hoping into the elevator... and going 4 flights up to lounge around the roof top-hopefully wearing a comfy knitted shall.

And...

...all these things added up together means I am 23 years old going on 72.

zuzu lady

This is what we're doing to entertain ourselves lately.

By the way....if you feel annoyed by the amount of times I say "hey Zuri.." in this, then you're not alone. I wanted to puke on myself when we watched the footage afterwards, but its about the the only way I can distract this mini munchkin from her favorite episode of Scooby Doo.

Enjoy.

Dear Iced not-fat Mocha,

I genuinely hate you.

But I'm so addicted.....I can't function without you.

I know this is an un-healthy relationship and we need to breakup,

But I just cant stand the thought.

Every time I try, I get headaches and grumpy and then the second I give in to your cold, chocolaty, caffeine goodness... its instant relief.

I think this is bad. Real bad.

Crap.

Sincerely,

Your prisoner

LA Ladies...and husband.

The little miss in her new house!

This is our shoe closet/book shelf/make-shift bedroom wall.

Out side our building.

Another view...

Our Bed "room." Behind the curtain on the left is where we hide Zuri's big-girl bed. And the wooden tall storage on the right is our closet.

The whole house pretty much...I love the 3 huge windows.

Kitchen and front door.

living room

This beauty is a whopping 600 square feet....no walls, no doors, no storage, no privacy, nooo problem. I cant believe how much I am falling in love with our place. Although everything is in one huge room, it has worked out. I dont know if its that I enjoyed the challenge of putting this place together like a gigantic puzzle, or if it just feels good to get rid of "extras" and only have what you absolutely need around you. For example...right now we have 5 cups total. Thats all. One for me, one for Brons, one little one for Zu, and two extras just in case. And its PERFECT! less dishes....less clutter...... less nonsense. On top of minimizing our belongings I have had to become the organization queen while living here. I've gotten pretty clever about storage and places to keep little odds and ends and putting things away the minute I (or anyone else) is done with them. The house seriously gets crazy even if one person leaves an item out because if you think about it...its like have your kitchen in your bedroom...kind of different. But all in all, I really am falling in love with LA more and more each day. We love people watching all the nutcases outside our window...we love the openess of our house, I LOVE that we have a gym and a pool on the roof... and think this is Zuris favorite part too....or maybe hers is the elevator. Yup, hers is definitely the elevator.

Bronson is interning with Charlie Lapson who is a handbag designer out here. So far its awesome and he gets to do what he loves all day long. If he was getting paid for it..it couldnt be more perfect! In time he will though. Yesterday they were filming a reality show Charlie has out in Japan, and Charlie asked Brons to do some behind the scenes filming to make an edit with. He hung out and filmed with Carolyn Hennesy who is an actress on Cougar Town which I thought was pretty cool...everyone else just sees it as another days work but think its a huge deal!

Oh by the way...so far weve seen ali and roberto from the bacheolrette in santa monica and i saw Kirsten Storms from that disney channel old movie "Zenon girl of the 21st century' and days of our lives in target yesterday. Anyways, its always fun and i'll definitely be better at keeping you all posted on the craziness that is our life!

I'm cheap,

and impatient..and i guess a little spontaneous, too. so, without really thinking, i tried to bleach my own hair two days ago.

it was a disaster.

you could say my roots looked like this guys down here.

i almost cried, but then decided to laugh because i looked so ridiculous. and then i found these photos and didn't feel so bad.

I got it fixed the next day by my dear friend, Kami, at salon K and i will never, NEVER do anything so dumb again in my life. Promise me you wont either? learn by my mistakes and don't turn into Carrot Top involuntarily.

You need to know a little something about me...

soooo, I don't answer my phone.

I don't even carry my phone on my body, actually.

Please don't take it personally when you call or send 7 text to me and get no reply until 3 days later.

Its me, not you. Really.

My reasonings for this are:

*phones are annoying

*i hardly have big enough pockets to carry a phone

*i lose phones

*i dont carry a purse unless i have to

*I'd rather spend my time paying attention to the people im actually sitting in the room with. Not sucked into my phone screen checking e mails, or texting people for pointless conversations. I like to live in the moment and i feel phones take that away from people. You lose yourself in cyborg text land and shut everyone and everything around you out.

*but mostly.....

I want my daughter to remember me as a mom who watched her dance around and be silly, who got on the floor with her to play, and even paint her nails once in awhile. even if its not important things she doing...she knows i think its the most important thing at that moment, not a text message.

So, there you have it.

Maybe you should put your phone down and walk out of the room for a day....go to the gas station, maybe a park, go wherever you like going with the people you love without the constant connection to all the nonsense of the outside world. then see how you feel.

its kind of like taking off a really uncomfortable bra and going au natural...freeing to say the very least. I bet you'll love it.

My night last night went a little something like this....

Its 1:00 am...for some reason or another I'm not tired at all.

I've watched every DVR'ed show we've got by this time and am getting anxious about not feeling tired so I give in and take an OTC sleepy time pill that makes me feel awful and groggy the morning after I take it, but its necessary at this point.

Its now around 2:30am... I'm lying in bed next to my sleeping husband and I'm finally feeling those warm fuzzy sleepy time feelings. My eyes are heavy and I have one of those micro naps..you know the ones where you're awake but kind of asleep and have a mini dream real quick? Well I don't remember what the dream was about but I do remember hearing a weird rustling noise.

I ignore it...I try to get back into my relaxed half dream world again. About 10 more minutes have passed and Im asleep...Something wakes me up though. A weird scratchy rustling noise again.

I'm mad now. And not to mention wide awake.

I start thinking to myself..what on earth is that? it kind of sounds like a...Oh no....OH NO..its a...nahhh its not....YES! its a RAT! it has to be a rat!

I sit directly up in bed, my eyes fly open, and I fine tune my hearing. Another noise....but closer. With squeaking this time.

oh shit! it IS a rat! ohmygosh...i think its in the room. please dont be in the room, please!

At this point I'm beyond tired and turn a bit psycho.

What if its in the closet? Zuri sleeps in the closet! Remember that girl on DR. 90210 who had to get reconstructive surgery because a RAT nawed off her face in the night? ah! oh no! remember those little girls who just died because of rat poison in their house...i swear i heard something about rat dumpings being toxic too. oh shit. shit shit shit... what do i do?

Im up and out of bed. Ive now talked myself into believing that somehow or another this rat will either end up killing or severely disfigure or damage my beautiful sleeping daughter in the closet.

Im in this kitchen now..Im tearing apart everything...looking for who knows what. I just wanted to be destructive I guess. And this.....

what I woke up to this morning. haha.

I find a flash light and heavy rolling pin and go down stairs.

I walk into our room shining the brightest lcd flashlight ever made by man and of course bronson wakes up...

bronson: what are doing?

me: theres a rat is in our room. its gonna get zuri.

bronson: uhh, what?

me: cant you hear it!!!!!!?

bronson: go to bed, wes.

me: nope.

I slowly open the closet door and shine the light..I see zuri. So far there are no visible bite marks...no nawed off nose. whew, what a relief. I check under her portacrib and see nothing. check everywhere....and i cant find the damn rat.

Hours have passed I havent heard anything for awhile and Zuri hasnt screamed out loud in pain.... so I guess Im good to fall asleep?

Its 4am, I finally close my eyes. And zuri wakes up crying for her sippy cup. Crap.

Bronson goes up stairs to get her a baba, I pull her into our bed and i secretly do a limb check on her...everythings good...intact..healthy...shes not wheazing, no bites. Wonderful!

Brons comes back saying something like he cant believe i tore up the house, and he's mad..but im so looney tunes at this point I cant understand him. I close my eyes and immediately fall asleep holding my munchkin.

What a night.

es verdad, mis amigos.

All I want to instill in my children is to find out who they are and fall in love with themselves. (not in a narcissist way, of course)

i hope i do a good job...i sure am tryin.

fml

mmmm hmmm.
this is what my last two weeks has felt like.

but, yes, I am dramatic.

I cant get into everything just yet...oh boy, do I want to though.

Lets just say we've spent a months income on lawyers and court fees, and I've never, not EVER, expected to take this route with anyone I've ever come across. Nor, did I know what it was like to feel pure hatred like I do now.

I seriously hate a person. Have you ever really hated anyone? Well its terrible. Ive never in my life hated someone until now and let me tell you, its not a pleasant feeling.

Its more consuming and draining and saddening than anything else. It sucks.

Most of all, the worst part of all this is its timing. I had just come off the vacation of a lifetime with a burst of new energy and life. I felt so good about everything and everyone around me and felt like I wnted to better myself and my family....then WHAM! Everything changes and I'm having a daily meltdown/pity party for myself.

The good news is today has been the turning point. I've cried enough, sworn enough, and been in enough bad moods for a lifetime. I've let this situation and these people control me and somewhere along the line I've become a "victim". Ewe. I hate victims. Seriously, I despise victim people who are always whining about everything happening to them and their sucky attitudes. Sooooo, I woke up this morning and changed my attitude. And suprisingly, Ive had a wonderful day.

Hmmmm...imagine that.

I'll of course spill all the dirty details when this mess is over with, and believe me...you'll want to hear them. And, no, I wont feel bad for it. In the mean time...pray for my little family that we can make it out on top of this mess...even though you dont know what this mess is yet.

ch ch cha changes..turn and face the strange

Great changes are ahead for me and my family....whether they like it or not.

Ever since we returned from our trip I've had a new energy about life in general. I try to get the most out of every day and feel so much more productive.

I remembered somewhere along the line while we were in Europe that your brain is a muscle and you have to constantly exercise it if you want growth...so, I've been reading great books, learning new things, exercising more frequently, and in return...I feel more confident. Really, I feel good about my self and all my decisions.

Another change in the works...see that cute little munchkin up there? She may be the cutest dang thing you've ever seen...but whewww eeee, shes's a demanding and controlling little one. She's mastered the art of manipulation at the ripe old age of 23 months haha.

Well she has got another thing coming to her...poor little lubchug. Zu-lady doesn't even know whats comin. She is not in control of this mama ANYMORE.

Who says you have to make resolutions at New Years, anyways? June sounds like a great month to me.

ohhh matt clayton...how on earth do you always snap the best photos??

I was scrolling down Matt's blog and this group of handsome young men caught my eye.

To be honest, I completely forgot Brons and my brothers-in-law did a a shoot with Matt a while back...so it was like Christmas when I saw this picture!

If you want to see more of Matt Clayton's work click on his name in my favorites up at the top of my page.

Barcelona, Spain to Madrid to NYC to HOME!

Barcelona has to be on my top three list. It’s a beautiful, clean city with awesome people and crazy entertainment. I definitely want to go back to Spain along with Greece and even Venice too. We got off the ship and had to find our hotel…we took a train the complete wrong direction for awhile before we realizing we were going the opposite direction from our hotel. So we got off and flagged down a taxi to drive us to our hotel…it’s a good thing too, cause we never would have found it. Our taxi driver and Sam hit it off and were talking non stop the whole drive there….the rest of us don’t speak Spanish so we had no idea what was being said but we knew our taxi guy was pretty excited about it. We got out and asked Sam what the taxi guy was so stoked about, and it turns out the he found out sam does yoga and was so happy about it he kept saying he wanted to stop the cab right then and there to do yoga with sam on the road and talk about Buddhism, along the Wilco and The Pixies. Haha it was pretty funny.

Then we got to our hotel laid out in the sunshine forever, and went back out to inner-city Barcelona that night. Its funny to think that I was scared of public transportation before this trip, because I have learned to love it now. It’s so much simpler than I expected and I have honestly considered selling our car when we get home. Of course I would never but if we ever move to big city…our car will be the first thing to go.

We had to wake up a 4am to catch our flight to Madrid the next day where we had a 10 hour layover. We decided to get out of the ariport and just cruised around the city…we actually went to the Madrid soccer stadium which is, I guess, the nicest in the world. Corey was so excited he was like a little kid. He eats, breaths, and sleeps soccer so it was the perfect stop for him. We got to see the workers cut the grass, which seems like such a monstrous job but the way they do it was so cool. They use normal lawn mowers that you push along and they are soooo good at it. So after seeing the stadium we headed back to the airport where we boarded our flight to…

NYC!

It was so fun. We got there around 9pm so 3am-ish for us. We were bushed…but not enough to not go out and shut the city the down. Sooooo, we get off the plane and look for a taxi. The first guy that comes up to us we choose because were too tired to bargain a good deal and look around for another driver. We start heading into the parking lot of the airport where he takes us to this sketchy, burgundy van with a missing head light, the check-engine light on, and no A/C. Our driver then proceeds to tell us he could get arrested for not having an actual license to taxi people around so could we “please hand him the cash incomspiculously?” I was a little scared until he started telling us about his life back in Trinidad and Tobago where he is originally from, and then challenged us in a foot race. Hes a black 60+ year old man who could easily beat anyone in any athletic event haha. He drove us to Little Italy where we met up with our friends Alyssa and Jamie. They both have been living in NYC for a couple months now and know all the fun places to go out …they live in downtown so we were right in the mix of things. They were great hosts and I’m so excited to go back and hang out with them more! It was seriously one of the funniest nights of the trip.

….But, right now were on the plane back to Utah and I have to say I have the worst buttlerflies in my stomach ever, and I feel like its Christmas eve or something. Im so excited to see Zuri I don’t even have the words. Im a little nervous she’ll be mad at us for being away so long, but I hope that’s not the case. If Ive learned anything in these past couple weeks, it’s how big of an effect that little girl has on me. It took me at least 4 days of being on the cruise to stop feeling selfish everytime I did something just for me. Ive realized I don’t even know who I am without having her around to mother, or always have her to go right back home to.

It was good in a sense that I got to remember that I can still be fun and have adult conversations again, and all the free time gave me lots of opportunity to think about and appreciate the good little family life I have back home. But it was really, really nice to get that old feeling of remember who I am…and not just as Zuri’s mom. I needed that little reminder and it came at the perfect time!

Pisa, Italy then Monte Carlo, Monoco

We were so bushed after Rome that the next day we slept-in and missed our date with our Canadian Parents. We were pretty bummed. But instead of going to Florence like we originally planned, we decided to go to Pisa instead where we saw the leaning tower of Pisa…it was pretty dang cool. We tried to find out all the history about it but go way too carried away taking funny pictures with the tower. Plus, it was hard to take it seriously when all the little store vendors there had men’s underwear’s hanging everywhere with cleverly placed leaning towers on them. You get the picture.… it was hilarious.

Next!

We went to Monte Carlo, Monoco. We met back up with our Canadian mums and dads and explored the city…Its where the Grand Prix and the Cannes Film festival is every year. It is weallllthy. …Like snobs driving Maserati’s and Rolls Royces everywhere, wealthy. Its also famous for their casino. They don’t let you gamble until they do a credit check to make sure you have muy denero to lose. You used to have to wear a tux to even get into the casino lobby just 5 years ago. Nuts. But it is a beyond beautiful little costal city where everyone speaks French and smokes. Have I mentioned about everyone smoking by the way? Well, everyone and I mean EVERYONE smokes in Europe. Like, for example, our waiter in Rome would refill our drinks then go smoke in the corner of the restaurant. Seriously, INSIDE the restaurant. And you can buy cigarettes in vending machines. So gross.

Naples then Rome, Italy

We went to Naples, Italy yesterday and just got back from our long, long, long day in Rome! …and I found something out that has bothered me all day. Its name is not Naples…Its Napoli. And Venice, Italy is not Venice…Its Venecia. Rome is Roma. Lets get it right, Americans!!!! Whew…ok, now that that’s off my chest …. Naples is dirty and just like any other big city by the water…but its cool to see a lot of legit African people there. I bought a little wooden owl and cute little elephant for our house from the blackest person I’ve ever seen in my life. His skin was literally black…it was crazy. Form there we went to the city of Pompei…Its an ancient city that was buried in over 5 feet of ash when Mount Vesuvius erupted thousands of years ago. Every single living thing died from suffocation when the ash cloud hit the city..no one had a chance. The crazy thing is that the ash actually petrified everything it buried, leaving whole bodies practically un-decayed…so when they discovered the city hundreds of years after, they un-dug whole families still lying in their beds just as they were the day the volcano erupted. It was eerie and kind of sad but really cool at the same it.

We went to Sorrento, Italy by train after we left Pompei and I LOVED IT! We ate the most delicious margarita pizza, lasagna, as gnocchi you could imagine for only 6 Euro. No American food will ever come close to it. Screw you CPK! I will no longer spend $12 on your not real/very expensive/not even that good pizza again.

Moving onto Rome…..well, I can start by saying that my Forever 21 sandals I bought the day before our trip are now officially worn down past the rubber soles. We walked at least 10 miles today, and right now I am in a bathrobe, in my little twin bunk-bed, too exhausted to even go to dinner tonight. We saw EVERYTHING! You’ll just have to look at the pictures whenever I get them up because I’m not even going to try to explain Rome in words. It was crazy to say the very least.

Mykonos, Greece

I.LOVE.MYKONOS!

Like really, really, really love it. Were definitely coming back sometime.

Its all white with different colored roofs and trim, right on the ocean. Its paradise. And funny enough….thats the name of the beach we went to in Mykonos. We took a bus just a few miles outside of the city and layed at the beach for a couple hours…there were lots of nakey bums and boobies which made our little adventure even more funny. This is of course because I was with 3 other childish, immature, 20-something-year-old BOYS. Well, I take that back….even if I was alone I would have been giggling just as much as I was with them. Its so weird seeing naked bodies play paddle ball and laying around. I kind of hope I never get used it. Haha

Bringing up the BOYS….I have to let everyone know how much I love them. Its been so fun with the four of us. We’ve been traveling long enough together that I feel like we’ve all figured out our own place in this little Euro-Family we created. Sam’s the navigator and translator. Kind of like our trip dad. Corey chitchats with any person that speaks English we come across and, I quote, “just shoots the breeze with them.” He also says the funniest shiz ever. I’ve been laughing non stop. Bronson is guaranteed to have his ear buds in listening to Lil Weezy at all times, and is ALWAYS on the verge of napping…. I’ve never seen a human being sleep so many hours in the day EVER. I credit this to “the bear cave” which we have nicknamed our room on the ship. It has 2 twin-style bunk beds (Yes, that’s right… were all sleeping in our own individual bunk bed. Romantic, huh?) and no windows. The first couple days we would wake up at 3:00am not knowing what time it was, then 2:00pm the very next day….our bodies were so confused. And, me? Im, of course, the trip mom. I tell them to stop swearing, hand out Advil, budget the spending money, and worry about our safety/catching the ship before it leaves port. Its awesome.